Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Not a Post I wanted to have to make....

As I am sure regular readers (both of you!), will know, my mum had been ill for a number of months, one of the reasons why my running has been so intermittent this year. Well, sadly, on Sunday May 27th, mum passed away. She died peacefully, in hospital, and whilst I wasn't there at the moment of passing, I had been with her all weekend, and know that she died in her own time, with no pain or suffering.

Most who read my blog would not know me, or my mum, but she was a wonderful person, and those that met her would be touched by her sense of humour and love of life. She lived for 93 years, and was born before the outbreak of World War One - A lot of life had passed her by. I don't intend to wallow on, as life has to go on, and this blog is meant to be about running, but I would like to share the words I wrote and spoke at her funeral - She was a wonderful warm person, we shared our moments, we fought as mothers and sons do, but the love she gave me was more than 100% all the time, I hope I reciprocated.

Here is what I said on Wednesday May 30th....

" To those that knew mum she was always ready with a quip to make us laugh. A smile, mischievous at times, was never far from her lips. Even in her darkest days, those last few weeks when she knew she had little time left with us, she made us laugh and smile. It is those memories that I want people to remember her by.

They say that the secret of comedy is good timing. Well, mum had her own way of timing things. She wasn't ready to die when the doctor's said, she would go when she was ready, not when the medical profession told her. She was never too good at taking orders.

Last November I was told that mum would not last the night. It was devastating, and the family rallied around, came to Daisy Hill Hospital and we sat up through the night, expecting the worst. But at dawn's light she awoke from her sleep, it wasn't time yet, and by the time the day shift had arrived on duty, she was sitting up having her breakfast. This wasn't the first time she had beaten the odds - back in 1994 when she had her heart attacks she stopped breathing for nearly 3 minutes, but again, it wasn't time to go, and she came back to us.

So, three weeks ago when the doctor took me aside abd said there was little more they could do, and it would only be a matter of hours before she would be taken, we knew that somehow she would prove them wrong again. This time, she knew she was on her last lap, but she smiled and joked constantly. At one point, when I was alone with her at the hospital, she asked me to take her in my arms, as she wanted to die in my arms - you can imagine my thoughts - but I told her that she couldn't go yet as Frances (my cousin) was coming, so she pushed me back, smiled, a glint in her eye, and said "OK - I'll wait".

She wasn't allowed fluid in those last few weeks, due to her illness, and the oxygen she needed dried her mouth. She really wanted a glass of water, and gave out to me and the nurses, ordering a drink - on the grounds that "if she had a glass of water, she might die 2 minutes earlier - it wasn't going to kill her".

She took great pleasure from seeing people smile. Sadness was never far away, and in her last few years, the lack of mobility left her housebound, but she still loved to entertain anyone who called. She enjoyed the craic, and loved to tell funny stories, many at my expense, regalling one and all with anecdotes of my childhood - notably the occasion when her timing slipped and she poured a pot of oxtail soup over my head when I wouldn't eat my dinner! The stories were often embellished, but they made everyone smile and that is how I will remember her - the mischievous smile, the wink of an eye, the humour within her, and shared by all who were touched by her.

I am so glad I came home to be close to her in the last 5 years. She saved the best to the last for me. In her own way, in own time, when she was ready, she passed peacefully and has gone to be with brothers and sisters - She will have new tales to tell them too - and we can smile as we think of her - It's what she would have wanted - I'll miss you mum xx."

Maureen Mycroft - b. 2nd May 1914 d. 27th May 2007 May she rest in peace.

5 comments:

DawnB said...

Liam, really sorry to hear about your mom. Beautifuly said about you mom, very nice. God be with you and your family!!!

Jack said...

My condolences. What a beautiful send-off for your mom, I just know she's smiling up there in heaven and will be in your heart forever!

Anonymous said...

She must have been a wonderful woman. You two were lucky to have each other.

Anonymous said...

So very, very sorry to hear about your Mum Liam. Your family here in England are thinking about you. God bless.
With all our love Shirley xxxxx

Dori said...

Your mother sounds like quite a woman. Ireland's daughters are strong. My own Nana lived to be 94 and her mind was sharp till the end.