It's a question that goes through my mind on a regular basis. Often when chatting to friends, I mention the fact that I AM a runner, and then take a step-back, and say, "well, I used to be"... Have I finally thrown in the towel and accepted the fact that with the serious back injury, bouts of gout, and general old age creeping up on me, I really am an ex runner, who occasionally, very occasionally this year so far, laces up his shoes and goes for a run.
This thought was going through my head this week. Last Sunday I sat and watched the London Marathon, and today was Boston. I can look back and say I ran London in 1989 and 1998, and Boston in 2001, with pride. But, could I ever run either, or any other 26 miler, again?
It's 2014 now... It's been 6 years since I ran the distance, and to be honest, its 13 years since I last ran a decent Marathon, in Nottingham, England in September of that year. Sure in 2006 I got myself reasonable fit, and was OK with my runs in Connemara and in Prague, but my best days are well behind me. I have always accepted that once I hit "Middle Age", I would never rekindle the flames that took me to sub 60 minute 10 milers, and sub 40 10K's, and even the 3:30 Marathons, but I always felt that if I could get an injury free year, I could get myself back to running mid 40's for 10Km. Reality is, I haven't run sub 45 minutes for 10Km since 2001, and it's 2005 since I even bettered 23 minutes for 5Km - Who am I kidding?
Then, I read that an old friend of mine, Henry Wolstat, celebrated his 80th birthday this past week. What did he do for his birthday, he ran.... Henry isn't running for time, he runs because he still enjoys it. The buzz that goes with the breeze on your face. The satisfaction of completing a run along a favourite path. The pleasure that all runners know, the runners high, we get from simply being out there.
I want to be able to go for a run on my 80th birthday too! I want to be able to run on my 60th Birthday, and that's getting closer. My mind still thinks I am in my 30's, my body knows the difference. Now I have to make my mind win over my body.
Saturday I went to the gym. I haven't run for 6 weeks, but I managed 3Km on the treadmill. Even though the weather has turned spring-like, if not warmed up yet, I feel conspicuous running so slowly on the open road, especially locally where so many fine runners are out training on my local pathways. BUT, I did run - It was slow, the slowest I have ever run 3Km on a treadmill ever - 18 minutes (Yes, I am sad, I have recorded every training run since 1998), 6 minutes per kilometre. But I wasn't running for time, I was running to see if I still could enjoy it - I did... My thoughts were of Henry enjoying his run along the Charles River, the thousands who ran in London last weekend, and the thousands more who would be running from Hopkinton to Copley Square this Monday... I want to enjoy that feeling again - I want to enjoy the wind on my face - I want to celebrate the fact that on my 80th birthday I can look back and say "I still AM a runner" -
I've said it before, but I need to repeat it to myself - The ten two letter words that I used to have posted on my fridge, and on my desk at work - "If It Is To Be, It Is Up To Me" - It will take time, it will take some work, but at the end of the day, it will be worthwhile, and most importantly, it will be enjoyable.....
